The Dumbest Shit She's Ever Said

franziskaaggrey:

rayladelasoul:

their faces say it all… 

I’m dead
Aug 27

franziskaaggrey:

rayladelasoul:

their faces say it all… 

I’m dead

(Source: twitter.com, via too-stoned-to-remember)

whiskeydrinking-operating:


This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said  “Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad) I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
Aug 27

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

(via too-stoned-to-remember)

foxxycleopatra:

"i can’t figure out this problem"

teacher: use your head

image

(via guy)

Aug 27
Aug 27

(Source: 1los, via sarcasticboom)

disgustinghuman:

[sighs internally]

[sighs externally]

[sighs eternally]

(via joshpeck)

Aug 27
slythergin:

slytherin-elsa:

My mom got me this shiRT AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD SHE DOESNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHES DONE SHE DOESNT GET THE IRONY IN THIS I AM A CLOSETED LESBIAN THIS IS COMEDY GOLD I MIGHT COME OUT TO HER OVER THIS FUCKING SHIRT JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT STOP LAUGHING

UPDATE: When I told her I’m gay she crossed her arms and said in a really pissed off voice “Are you telling me I spent $15 on that shirt for nothing??”
Aug 27

slythergin:

slytherin-elsa:

My mom got me this shiRT AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD SHE DOESNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHES DONE SHE DOESNT GET THE IRONY IN THIS I AM A CLOSETED LESBIAN THIS IS COMEDY GOLD I MIGHT COME OUT TO HER OVER THIS FUCKING SHIRT JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT STOP LAUGHING

UPDATE: When I told her I’m gay she crossed her arms and said in a really pissed off voice “Are you telling me I spent $15 on that shirt for nothing??”

(via sarcasticboom)

Aug 27

ruinedchildhood:

Spongebob is the mother fuckin devil

(via guy)

the-time-goddess-of-221b:

bard-of-time-will-be-late:

mori-ar-ti:

my mom was playing world of warcraft and someone said “fuck off” and she said “such language” and the next person said “very swear” and the next said “much offensive” and basically my mom started crying and blamed me

WoW.

Did you just

(via toofabforthisplanet)

Aug 27

guopei:

today i was talking to some boys about how gender roles influence their minute-to-minute behaviours and they were all “not necessarily i mean not all-” and i said “one example is interrupting women when they talk and dismissing their ideas” and silence

(Source: tsav, via toofabforthisplanet)

Aug 27
sexy-fruit:


THIS
Aug 27

sexy-fruit:

THIS

(via toofabforthisplanet)